Don’t ask me why, but a team of scientists in Brighton are wiring up football fans with electrodes in a bid to try and come up with the best chant to use at the World Cup.

That the words “scientist”, “electrodes” and even “Brighton” should never be used in the same sentence as “football” is bad enough. That there are football fans willing to be linked to machinery and measurement equipment in this ridiculous “experiment” (a word used often by Chelsea, Liverpool and England to little effect, you might remember) just makes it worse.

“The idea is we wanted to identify the power of the 12th man and do something to help England win the World Cup.

“We hope it will catch on with fans on the terraces and we can do something to help the team.”

Said crazed Brighton boffin Duncan Smith. Mate, it won’t. Or if it does we don’t know what the World (Cup) is coming to.

Still, I suppose it beats putting mascara on rabbits or trying to find out how many corn flakes you can put in a hamster til it explodes. Or does it?

Read the full, horrifying story here…

Now before I start, I’d like to point out that I am NOT anti-Kevin Pietersen. Not at all.

I recognise him as one of the best batsmen in the world and he is certainly one of England’s key men as well. But…
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David Beckham continues his bid to claim a spot in the England squad for next year’s World Cup with the news that he has signed a loan agreement with AC Milan, the club he enjoyed a successful spell with last season. His MLS team LA Galaxy are happy for it to go ahead too, which is nice.

If it works out just as well then it’s almost nailed on that he will be on the plane to South Africa, Fabio Capello clearly keen to take him if he stays fit.

But should he? The contentious issue continues to keep pubs and papers in business. Sporting Fare is clear on the issue, however – yes, he should go. As an impact substitute and / or back up to one of his as yet unproven heirs there is no better option. Taking two or three from the Walcott / Young / Milner group and leaving Becks behind would be, in our opinion, A. Bad. Idea.

So good luck to him in Milan. Because England are going to need him at some point.