Don’t ask me why, but a team of scientists in Brighton are wiring up football fans with electrodes in a bid to try and come up with the best chant to use at the World Cup.

That the words “scientist”, “electrodes” and even “Brighton” should never be used in the same sentence as “football” is bad enough. That there are football fans willing to be linked to machinery and measurement equipment in this ridiculous “experiment” (a word used often by Chelsea, Liverpool and England to little effect, you might remember) just makes it worse.

“The idea is we wanted to identify the power of the 12th man and do something to help England win the World Cup.

“We hope it will catch on with fans on the terraces and we can do something to help the team.”

Said crazed Brighton boffin Duncan Smith. Mate, it won’t. Or if it does we don’t know what the World (Cup) is coming to.

Still, I suppose it beats putting mascara on rabbits or trying to find out how many corn flakes you can put in a hamster til it explodes. Or does it?

Read the full, horrifying story here…