Category Archives: YCNMIU

YCNMIU #7: Maradona runs over cameraman

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Diego Maradona

We have to use this pic by law, right?

It’s something of a surprise that Maradona hasn’t made our YCNMIU series before, but here he is at last.

On his way to announce Argentina’s 23-man World Cup squad, Maradona knocked over a cameraman in his car. Not particularly funny, I know. What qualifies this for YCNMIU is the fact that on doing so, the once great footballer and now crazy coach leaned from his car yelling:

“What an asshole you are. How can you put your foot under the wheel, man?”

He then announced a squad containing six strikers. The man’s a loon but if he wins the World Cup there will clearly have been method in his madness.

YCNMIU #6: Pompey “find” £4m they didn’t know they had

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Andrew Andronikou

Andrew Andronikou: He knows what he's doing...honest...

Yes, it’s Portsmouth Football Club again and the ongoing saga that is their debt problems. And we though the UK as a whole had issues!

It seems that the self promoting administrator Andrew Andronikou has mistakenly listed a company – Canterbury Europe, a former shirt sponsor – as a creditor, to which Portsmouth supposedly owed £1.99 million. A quick check by The Guardian, however, has shown that Canterbury in fact owe Portsmouth £1,862,724.67!

That’s a £4 million swing in favour of the struggling FA Cup finalists. Ok, it’s a drop in the club’s debt ocean but as The Guardian pointed out in their article it could go quite far in terms of getting Portsmouth out of administration.

It must come as quite a relief to Portsmouth supporters that after a year of dodgy owners and board members their club is now in the safe hands of a qualified administrator in Andronikou…

YCNMIU #4: Scientists look for winning World Cup chant

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Don’t ask me why, but a team of scientists in Brighton are wiring up football fans with electrodes in a bid to try and come up with the best chant to use at the World Cup.

That the words “scientist”, “electrodes” and even “Brighton” should never be used in the same sentence as “football” is bad enough. That there are football fans willing to be linked to machinery and measurement equipment in this ridiculous “experiment” (a word used often by Chelsea, Liverpool and England to little effect, you might remember) just makes it worse.

“The idea is we wanted to identify the power of the 12th man and do something to help England win the World Cup.

“We hope it will catch on with fans on the terraces and we can do something to help the team.”

Said crazed Brighton boffin Duncan Smith. Mate, it won’t. Or if it does we don’t know what the World (Cup) is coming to.

Still, I suppose it beats putting mascara on rabbits or trying to find out how many corn flakes you can put in a hamster til it explodes. Or does it?

Read the full, horrifying story here…

YCNMIU #3: Hull City’s Jimmy Bullard Celebrates In ‘Style’

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When Manchester City hosted Hull City at the City of Manchester Stadium last season they were 4-0 up at half time. So enraged was manager Phil Brown that he sat is team and backroom staff down in the penalty area in front of Hull’s travelling support. He then proceeded to give them a very public telling off in an unprecedented half time, pitch side rant.

He has,of course, since been condemned for his actions, with many a commentator, pundit and ex-player saying he was wrong to do it. Phil has never admitted it was a mistake.

He may wish to reassess that view after today though…

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YCNMIU #2: Keeper booked for rescuing cat

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We just found this on the BBC website:

Goalkeeper Ivan Banovic was booked after rescuing a pitch-invading cat during a top-flight match in Croatia.

Medjimurje Cakovec’s Banovic picked up the wandering feline after it strayed on to the pitch 20 minutes into his team’s match at Sibenik.

He placed it safely near a scoreboard but was then booked by the referee for leaving the pitch without permission.

Media reports said the official’s actions annoyed fans, who barracked him for punishing Banovic’s kind deed.

Source: BBC Sport

No doubt next week a top flight manager will get a touchline ban for attending a charity event…

YCNMIU #1: Newcastle United rename stadium

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The first of what we’re sure will be many Sporting Fare “You Could Not Make It Up”s comes from that “hotbed of football”, Newcastle, where owner Mike Ashley, on the look out for a stadium sponsor, has decided to rename St. James’ Park.

Yes, with immediate effect that famous old stadium will now be known as the sportsdirect.com @ St James’ Park Stadium.

Doesn’t quite trip off the tongue does it.

In an attempt to appease angry Newcastle United supporters, managing director Derek Llambias said:

With the renaming it was always going to be whatever brand it was, at St James’ Park. For the remainder of this season, we already have sportsdirect.com on the Gallowgate so we’d like to take that branding through the rest of the stadium.

Oh yeah, that’ll work, Derek.